lusi | Molly's Perma-CatchAll

[ Molly smiles at the distraction and gives Fjord an amused but fond look. He nods a little bit at the question, stepping out of the bathroom to head back to their room to get dressed. ]

I am. Queasiness is better, head's still pounding but survivable. I guess I should be thankful I had water as well.

[ Well-informed three-year-old.

He passes by Fjord, and his tail sways under the towel in excitement as he smells the spoils of the food run. ]

Oh, that's wonderful. A greasy meal and I'll soak up the last of this hangover.

[ He almost follows him into the bedroom but hovers in the doorway, uncertain whether he should stay while Molly gets changed. Probably not anymore. Right? Right. The bag is placed down on the bed and he nods to the way out. ]

I'll be downstairs, then. No rush.

Edited 2021-02-20 19:32 (UTC)

[ Molly's already dropped in towel as soon as he's in their room, bending over to collect some of his clothes spread on the floor and tossing them into the hamper. ]

Let me put some pants on and I'll meet you in the kitchen.

[ Welp, yep, heading out! ]

Okay, see you there!

[ Maybe a coffee is in order while he waits. ]

[ About five minutes later, Molly slinks down into the kitchen, wearing black leggings, his boots and a comfy hoodie that also seems to be missing half of it. It's apparently a thing, now. ]

Feeeeed meeeee.

[ Molly whines, making grabby hands for a coffee cup and the goods. ]

[ Having left the room with the food in a panic instead of leaving it on the bed as planned, he nods to the bag on the table. There's a black cup of coffee that Fjord pours out as the scantily-clad menace walks in. ]

Do all your shirts have to be mauled in half by a monster before you'll wear them?

[ Seeing the food, Molly's quick to sit and grab some for himself, looking a lot better than the absolute mess he was last night and this morning. He noms on a hashbrown when the hexadin comment on his shirt, and he can't help a grin. ]

They come like this, you know! It's fashionable.

[ You look like a purple twink, Molly. ]

It's a nice tummy, very good with what it needs to do. It deserves some love.

It looks cold more than anything.

[ He takes a seat next to Molly on the end of the kitchen table, letting his gaze wander appreciatively over said tummy. ]

But it's cute, you're absolutely right. It suits you.

It's not cold inside, at least. I'll just wear longer things if it snows again.

[ Don't make him rationalize crop tops, Fjord!

The compliment makes him smile, though, and he gives it a pat just because. It's... not the best idea, and he has to take a moment to not spew. Still not great, then.

Oh well. ]

It's the only one I got, it better suit me.

[ A soft smile agrees and he looks down into his coffee. Setting it on the table, the silence that falls between them feels oddly timely. ]

Molly, I ... I'm sorry for what I said and did. I've missed you, I've missed [ hah, his chest hurts, ] just being around you, in fact.

[ Gold eyes swivel up intently. ]

I'm sorry I was the one who hurt us.

[ Molly looks up from his eggroll at that and leans back a bit so that he can listen to Fjord. He seems a little confused at first, but then he smiles sadly. ]

Hey. We both hurt eachother. It's not just you.

[ He takes a deep breath. ]

I can't fix what I did, but I miss you so much. Talking, eating together... but I also miss us. Waking up in your arms. Making you smile. Knowing you still love me.

[ The tiefling shakes his head. ]

Can we... try again? Please?

Of course, I mean, we never broke up.

[ Wait. ]

... Did we?

I.... I thought we did. You took all your things and left.

[ Molly wraps his hands around his coffee cup, shoulders tightening a bit. ]

I thought you left me, and didn't love me any more.

Molly, I just wanted some space. [ Caleb was entirely right, as it turns out. ] I was overwhelmed and upset, I felt like my feelings were being shouted down. That's why I left. I took my stuff because I had no idea where I was going.

[ He reaches out to cover Molly's hand. ]

I never stopped caring about you.

Edited 2021-02-20 21:55 (UTC)

How was I supposed to know that? I just... I don't know how these things work. Relationships, I mean.

[ He feels the hand on his own, and turns it so he can clasp their fingers together. ]

I thought I had fucked it up forever and it almost broke me.

[ Hence the burning and flaying comments. It was stupid and pathetic and overly dramatic, very much similar to a young first heartbreak. Only Molly was an adult, not a teenager.

Well. Kind of. ]

I didn't know you would react that badly. You're so strong the rest of the time ...

[ Squeezing that hand back. ]

Well, obviously being in love is messing me up.

[ Molly says with a slight huff, but he smiles a little as well. It felt weird, to bee so obsessed about something that he let it hurt him this badly.

At the same time, it made him so happy. (Before this.)

Right now it just felt really fragile - combine that with his hangover and Molly was really ready to just go full drama in the kitchen at any more bullshit. ]

[ Tentatively upon hearing that, he asks, ]

Do you regret it?

[ Molly looks over at Fjord, and then gives a tired smile. ]

No. Not even when it hurt the most.

[ It feels like he broke Molly, which he did as Molly himself has said. It's something different to see him like this, subdued and tired, twisting up Fjord's guts when he thinks about the fact Molly was ready to almost flay off his own skin all because Fjord didn't sort out his reaction in private, like an adult. No, he had to put his foot down and damned the consequences. I don't want to love a part of you because it reminds me of someone else, that had been the painful kernel around which his whole discomfort circled. I don't want to share what we have with anyone else.

What is most important is that Molly is safe, at the end of things. Whatever he has scrawled on his skin is of no real importance to Fjord (not unless those eyes start glowing). It's done now, all of it. Nothing can change back even if a selfish part of himself wants it to so the problem is erased and his life is made easier, so it's up to him to shut up complaining and do damage control. ]

You really scared me when you said you wanted to hurt yourself because of me, I would never want you to do that. Promise me you won't.

[ He takes a sip of coffee, tail softly coming to curl around a green ankle just to create a little bridge between them.

Molly feels bad that he scared Fjord, because in hindsight he knows it was stupidly dramatic and childish. ]

I promise I won't. It was... dumb. I mean, I wasn't going to do it if the big man didn't have healing spells, I wasn't looking for the pain.

[ He's ashamed he even entertained the thought after being so loud about Fjord not having the right to say what on him. Stupid. ]

Good.

[ Furtive glances search Molly for a hint of how he will react if Fjord continues, wary of what he wants to say and what's wiser not to. His wisdom has never been the best. ]

You can share yourself with lots of people, you're good at it, [ with a nod to the newly tattooed arm, ] but I'm not like that, Molly. I understand why we're not exclusively together and I wouldn't expect that of you whether we were on the island or not, I just ... never expected to have to share you with people when we were alone, too.

I struggle with it.

[ He frowns a bit at that, but it's not anger, just confusion. Pulling up his sleeve to look at his arm, he shakes his head. ]

You're not sharing me when we're alone. These are just memories, Fjord. My own reminders... and they're all connected on a background that represents you. Because we were... are together. I don't go on dates with other people, I come home to you every night that I can. We're both sleeping with other people but I am yours.

[ He trails his fingers down the water, bright blue on his lavender skin. ]

I know it bothers you, though. What can I do to help?

Edited 2021-02-20 23:15 (UTC)

[ His voice heats up a little at first in exasperation over not being understood, held in check as he keeps his tone level and rubs a thumb over the back of Molly's hand. ]

I never — agreed — to bring anyone else into our bed, but now I have to have no problem with it because you made that decision for me, and I'm the bad guy if I don't like it. You decided, with your body. I'm completely outside the realm of having a say about what you do with it, but I do have a right to react and, Molly, I am sorry, but there's nothing to be done.

I feel like you put me on your skin but you don't want to deal with me.

[ He wants to be with Molly, he loves him. Love doesn't stop Fjord feeling like he's been somehow deeply misunderstood, though.

He was only with us for three months, he couldn't know me. ]

I didn't bring anyo- it's just art, Fjord! You're making it sound like I put someone else literally in bed with us.

[ He sighs and rubs his face a bit. ]

You're allowed to feel any way you want about it, shit, I never meant to invalidate your feelings or anything. It just hurt that you asked me to change it instead of starting with telling me what the issue was.

You never told me you liked her yet you came off like I did it to hurt you.

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