lusi | A Foolish Expedition

Entry tags:

svsss: shen qingqiu (shen yuan)

A Foolish Expedition

● WHO: Shen Qingqiu and You
● WHAT: Exploring the forest and general activities.
● WHEN: The past two weeks.
● WHERE: Forest and around
● WARNINGS: Tentacle vines

Getting to Know the Fauna

Shen Qingqiu despite his tendency to idle loved to explore. He loved to discover and categorize new creatures and monsters. He loved the idea of fighting them and learning what they could do. However, in practice, this was not always a good hobby.

He went off into the forest alone, with a tendency to reach out and touch everything. Several fruits practically exploded on him, getting him sticky, and some of them tried to shoot him with some sort of projectile. However the worst of his encounters hard to be his biggest mistake. Really, he had no one to blame but himself.

Hanging before him was a long tangling plant. It seemed to be oozing some sort of nectar that smelled almost like candy. It was quite appealing and curiosity took over. Knowing very well this was a bad idea and the sorts of plots these kinds of stupid actions sprung he could not help himself from reaching out and taking hold to hesitantly lick it. He found it did in fact taste pretty good, however touching it triggered a predictable reaction.

Fuck! Why the fuck did he do this! This predictable trap and he walked right into it!

Vines came out of everywhere wrapping themselves around him quickly, digging there way under his robes faster than he thought was possible and lifted him in the air like a tangled mess. Struggling did not help, as it just got him caught up more, and trying to call for this sword did little to help as well, as for every two he cut down four replaced it. In the end, he was strung up in a terrible disheveled half-dressed state with one vine desperately poking at his check trying to get in his mouth.

"Help!" he cried, creatively moving his head around trying to avoid the eager little thing from finding it's chance.

RPS and You!

He was not a survivalist, he knew absolutely nothing about surviving or taking care of himself particularly. Sure, if he had to, he could probably sleep outside, he had done that before, once or twice, but, it was different. It was a temporary thing between point A and point B. Trying to organize a place to live, food to eat, and a general idea of his future was just... a bit too much. So, instead of doing something productive, he let his mind wander to the task this world had set out for him. Considering the PWP R-18 nature of this world, he couldn't help but think of the two books he was so unfortunate to be brought here with: Resentment of the Chunshan, and Song of BingQiu. The ridiculous OOC real person fan fiction of himself and his disciple Binghe.

The books were dirty, flowery, and filled with nothing but papapa! The illustrations were quite beautiful, however, and though one was definitely more direct than the other, he couldn't say the writing was bad. It was just... absolutely filthy. Also a little uncomfortable since the subject matter was himself. All he could do was criticize the choices made.

"I would never beg and cry like that," he muttered. "And definitely never put it in my mouth!"

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He didn't say anything for a long time. He didn't really want to answer it. No matter what he answered it made him connected to it and he really didn't want to accept that.

But... he also didn't want to lie.

"No. But, this master is the person they were writing about. And before you say anything no, nothing they wrote about actually happened. It is only loosely based on actual events and all portrayals are completely OOC."

Shi Qingxuan's mouth formed into a perfect O--but his grip on the much coveted text remained firm. It's common knowledge that the much fabled saga was based on actual figures, the events notwithstanding. The wind master himself is the subject of a famous tale, himself, although no where near as interesting or tantalizing as the Resentment, of course.

He's shushed before he could interject, thoughts racing in his head while the alleged Shen Qingqiu defends himself and his chastity.

"Soooo, no one really drank their wine from your slipper while they touched you erotically?"

He sounds intrigued moreso than disappointed. That is one piece of the lore that's been debated over and over, some aficionados insisting it never existed in the original.

“What!?” His tone was completely incredulous. What sort of thing was that!? Who would do that!?

Binghe might do that.... After he read about it in these raunchy books....

But who would do that!?

“Of course not. None of those things happened. He has never hurt me or violated me either,” ignoring the times he was hurt a little bit, he understood they were not intentional, and... well, perhaps if he had done things differently and hadn’t run away.....

“We had a perfectly normal master disciple relationship.”

"Oh," it's hard to tell whether it's a subdued exclamation of disappointment or misunderstanding. Shi Qingxuan's excitement bubble through, however. It's a feat, containing his glee at meeting Shen Qingqiu. The Heavenly Official hardly gets to be around humans unless a mission mandates it in the strictest of sense, let alone someone who's inspired tales and plays.

"Please excuse me, I know I was rude."

A perfect bow, a rich young master's bow from days past as a carefree mortal, "My name is Shi Qingxuan... I just never expected to run into the real deal himself."

It was a bit odd running into someone he didn't know familiar with that story. Especially someone that exuded such high cultivation and refinement! What was this? Was he being shamed? Was he being looked down on from the powers that be?

But, what can he say, excited young looking people were a bit of a weakness. It was fair, people were fans of that story, though he had assumed they would all be girls.

"This master is not offended. The author writes what they wish to be real, it is only natural of people to indulge in fantasy."

"Aaaah, tell me about it! It can be too much, sometimes!"

The young man gesticulates with the air of someone who has been in the same boat, as mortifying a the boat seems. He whips out his fan to drive the point home, emphasizing every word dramatically.

"And then people eat that stuff up! And the next thing you know, everyone starts believing their own interpretation of your life and you're forced to play up to that because setting them straight is too inconvenient. As far as the mortal world is concerned, I'm actually a woman because they can't wrap their head around the fact that sometimes two guys can be professional and platonic while they're doing their work. Nooo, one of them has to be secretly a girl and pining for other guy!"

And that's how mortals ended up shipping Shi Qingxuan with his own brother, but he's too out of breath at that point to launch into that horrific portion of his woes.

He nodded slowly, his own fan waving softly causing his hair to flutter slightly. That sounded about right. There were a lot of legends of gods that changed genders the further back you went. Wasn’t Guanyin a man in India? Not to mention a story of two men just did not sell to the masses, you only get a small subset of the population with such stories. Of course one would want to turn it into a potential romance, a man and a woman, dragging it out as far as possible. Everyone ate that sort of stuff. Men would go on about how they wanted such a loyal beauty, and women would talk about all the sappy emotionally charged moments.

Or... something.

What he did take away from this small rant was that this person was an immortal who had ascended to heaven.

How unfair! That was the goal of all cultivators! Here he was a mid golden core with no chance of ever getting there because the original goods just didn’t start early enough! Not to mention the heavens in Proud Immortal Demon Way had been cut off from everything for a long time! Of course Airplane Shooting Through the Sky probably just wanted to be lazy and not deal with that aspect of cultivation since he had already made such a low fantasy story.

But, even if he could ascend he wouldn’t really want to.... It wasn’t as if Binghe could ascend even with his amazing cultivation. The demon half of him would make it difficult. Though, if Heavenly Demons originated from Heaven, could they return if the proved decent?

Either way after a while going through these various thoughts he finally replied. “We are brothers in kind” let us commiserate in our pain.

"And worst of all--" Shi Qingxuan is on a roll. It's not that he's never been indulged in his indignant frustrations every once in a while. It's just that it's been a while. True, many other heavenly officials have been in his shoes, but the worst they've ever had to contend with were tales of being gifted in the private organ departments.

"Worst of all, stories about me and my own brother. Really? Not that he's not incomparably handsome and perfect and generous. He's still my brother!"

With that out of his system, Shi Qingxuan slowly rounds back to the original subject of their argument, remembering the book at hand.

"Say, can I borrow this? Pretty please? There's not much to do around here, and even producing "selfies" can get boring after-- Oh, right! We should do a "selfie" together!

It's the one piece of technology the wind master's warmed up to pretty quickly, first upon his arrival, and he wastes no time in conjuring the hologram mechanism on his band.

Yes it was rediculous to use ones own brother. However Shen Qingqiu knew quite well that there were people out there that found incest appealing and wouldn't care if there were blood relations. Wasnt that why sect families were so popular? You get the close relation without the blood relation part!

But as he thought about tropes and popular fandom his mind was yanked back to the present at the mention of 'selfie' how did this immortal learn of selfies!?

"You know what that is...?" Sometimes a comedy would put such things into their cultivation settings, or one could also be a transmigrator, but perhaps someone simply taught him while here?

While Shi Qingxuan doesn't quite give off the air of someone capable of doing two things at once, he's diligently tapping away at all the options to conjure the hologram setting while still explaining, enthusiastically.

"Right! You know when we first got here and everyone was sending messages to everyone else. Well, this guy was getting really sweet on me, so I asked him to send me a portrait of himself--they call them holograms here, you know--and then I sent him one back, and then he asked to hook up..."

Satisfied with the settings, he pulls Shen Qingqiu close, lifting his own wrist up.

"And then someone else told me they were selfies and everyone who's anyone has them--tilt your head the other way. It makes your forehead look less wide."

What is this, TanTan or WeChat!?

Was he seriously being coached on how to take a selfie by an immortal cultuvator!? What was his life!?

As if trying to prove something he positioned himself just right for the angle, he knows how to take a selfie! He knows how to do ticktok videos too!

"You are rather adaptable.... perhaps this world is not so difficult for you," since you got two hookups!? Definitely one! Not that he wants any, but of course he's going to not want scraps thrown in his face.

"Is that so? This place is so weird, but it's not that bad."

clack clack clack goes the snap noises. And on that note, it's a small mercy he remains blissfully unaware of the range of other social media applications. After scrutinizing one hologram after another, Shi Qingxuan is quick to pester his new friend for several retakes.

"Did you know someone arrived with a giant statue, the other day? He claims it's not really a statue, but I'm pretty sure he just keeps it outside because there's no temple big enough to house it. He also claims he can make it move around but I have yet to see it with my two own eyes. Not even I have anything that huge made for me, so I'm kinda jealous."

Thankfully, Shen Qingqiu's immaculate features leave very little need for filters, otherwise that's what Shi Qingxuan would be talking about instead of Gundams.

Edited 2020-06-27 20:47 (UTC)

Not that bad? He supposed if you were the sort to be promiscuous and not care about hook ups and one night stands. But he was not that kind of person!

“Giant statue...?” It took him a moment as he followed the dialogue, wait, was there an actual gun*am here!?

He wanted to go see it... that was pretty cool!

Wait! No! He would pass by it sooner or later.

“I wonder if they have overlay filters,” because even if his features were surprisingly beautiful, it was still fun to add stuff to the sides and other stickers.

"Overlay? What's that?" the unfamiliar term is enough to distract him from fiddling with the hologram, but only barely. He's pleased with the image that has him proudly displaying the volume next to the man of the hour himself. Everyone will be so jealous back home!

Everyone with taste, anyway.

Should he try and explain it or pass it off?

What did it matter? This world was already strange and he had no one to keep up appearances to!

"It lets you put decorations on the selfie," maybe he should explore the available features of the wristbands.

"Whoa, no kidding?"

It doesn't make sense to him, but it sounds impressive and so he is duly impressed. Shi Qingxuan scoots close enough for Shn Qingqiu to access the hologram he's just taken, holding his wrist up between them, and an arm draped around his shoulder.

"You're going to have to teach me all about that. I'm behind when it comes to... Everything here, really." Selfies aside "But I'm sure an honorable immortal like you will have mastered this by now."

Honorable immortal! It sounded rather nice. But, he couldn't let such a compliment go to his head, especially since he hadn't mastered anything!

"This master has not quite... looked at everything available yet."

At this point, Shi Qingxuan is only listening with half an ear, his fingers rapidly swiping through the camera settings. It only takes him a few moments to explode in a peal of laughter, the hologram projected between them the reason why.

It's a good enough reflection of the two, only with puppy ears and noses superimposed on the image.

"Oh, this is the best day ever! I can't wait to show everyone this!"

Yep, that sure was a filter. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On one hand it was familiar in a way he had not thought he sort of missed, on the other hand... it looked a bit silly being placed on immortal cultivators.

“You seem rather easily impressed,” were they just the type to be excitable? Was everything fun and amazing for them?

"And you really are in character. Who would have thought?" Shi Qingxuan snipes back, his tone utterly free of malice, however. It's true the fact that with every movement the virtual puppy ears would flop up and down brought him immeasurable joy.

He makes sure to save that one.

"Besides, it costs you zero merits to enjoy things. Or is it that you're pining? I don't see your better half around."

What would he be otherwise? Though, was that something he wanted to hear? Those stories were so OOC! What did that even mean being said right now?

"I am not pining!" he felt indignant at the suggestion! Really, did he look like the type to pine?

And never once had he seemed like his soul had left him, he refused to believe that. It was an exaggeration by peak lords who acted like old gossipy aunties.

"And who said I do not enjoy things? I can enjoy plenty of things. I am not against enjoying things," what a thing to accuse him of.

"Great! Then you won't mind checking out this--" Shi Qingxuan is quick to turn on the rest of the filters, even quicker to file that mini tantrum for later use, "See, it renders your image as if you were of the fairer sex!"

He taps away with a flourish, until the hologram reflects his quite displeased face, and a frown to rival Shen Qingqiu himself. It soon turns into a dissatisfied scowl.

"This thing must be broken," he finally decides, "I am much hotter as a woman than that!"

For a moment he was worried there would be some sort of mechanic where they might suddenly become the opposite sex. That sort of thing did exist out there, and he was not interested in becoming intimately familiar with it, but, he then remembered a bit about the rant on the stories of the people.

...

He shouldn't ask, but....

"Do you mean the paintings made of you from your stories...?" he had a bad feeling about what the answer would actually be. He could already feel the blood rising up his throat.

His dissatisfaction with the hologram application only increasing, Shi Qingxuan shuts it off with some finality after failing to get the desired results. Rude! He's more than pouty lips and fluffy hair!

"Hmm, that's for me to know and for you to guess," he grins, all but bouncing on the balls of his feet at the opportunity to show off, discretion kicking in, eventually.

The painted scrolls and the statues are quite nice, even if they would never amount to the real thing in Shi Qingxuan's eyes.

Really? What kind of answer was that! You are clearly wanting to show off something, so just do it! Don't be all coy about it, just share and be done!

Of course, he didn't let his annoyance show on his face, he still kept a neutral expression.

"Instead of guessing why not show me the superiority since all I can imagine is what was just shown," something like that should do nicely.

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