A Foolish Expedition

[softheartedshizun]

● WHO: Shen Qingqiu and You
● WHAT: Exploring the forest and general activities.
● WHEN: The past two weeks.
● WHERE: Forest and around
● WARNINGS: Tentacle vines



Getting to Know the Fauna

Shen Qingqiu despite his tendency to idle loved to explore. He loved to discover and categorize new creatures and monsters. He loved the idea of fighting them and learning what they could do. However, in practice, this was not always a good hobby.

He went off into the forest alone, with a tendency to reach out and touch everything. Several fruits practically exploded on him, getting him sticky, and some of them tried to shoot him with some sort of projectile. However the worst of his encounters hard to be his biggest mistake. Really, he had no one to blame but himself.

Hanging before him was a long tangling plant. It seemed to be oozing some sort of nectar that smelled almost like candy. It was quite appealing and curiosity took over. Knowing very well this was a bad idea and the sorts of plots these kinds of stupid actions sprung he could not help himself from reaching out and taking hold to hesitantly lick it. He found it did in fact taste pretty good, however touching it triggered a predictable reaction.

Fuck! Why the fuck did he do this! This predictable trap and he walked right into it!

Vines came out of everywhere wrapping themselves around him quickly, digging there way under his robes faster than he thought was possible and lifted him in the air like a tangled mess. Struggling did not help, as it just got him caught up more, and trying to call for this sword did little to help as well, as for every two he cut down four replaced it. In the end, he was strung up in a terrible disheveled half-dressed state with one vine desperately poking at his check trying to get in his mouth.

"Help!" he cried, creatively moving his head around trying to avoid the eager little thing from finding it's chance.

RPS and You!

He was not a survivalist, he knew absolutely nothing about surviving or taking care of himself particularly. Sure, if he had to, he could probably sleep outside, he had done that before, once or twice, but, it was different. It was a temporary thing between point A and point B. Trying to organize a place to live, food to eat, and a general idea of his future was just... a bit too much. So, instead of doing something productive, he let his mind wander to the task this world had set out for him. Considering the PWP R-18 nature of this world, he couldn't help but think of the two books he was so unfortunate to be brought here with: Resentment of the Chunshan, and Song of BingQiu. The ridiculous OOC real person fan fiction of himself and his disciple Binghe.

The books were dirty, flowery, and filled with nothing but papapa! The illustrations were quite beautiful, however, and though one was definitely more direct than the other, he couldn't say the writing was bad. It was just... absolutely filthy. Also a little uncomfortable since the subject matter was himself. All he could do was criticize the choices made.

"I would never beg and cry like that," he muttered. "And definitely never put it in my mouth!"

Comments

Fauna

[blindforlove]

With a bright flash, a sword cuts through the naughty vine aiming for the mouth, and it tumbles down to the ground.

Arriving past a clump of the wildlife is a man also covered in sticky white fluids, face flushed, doing his best to look refined despite it all. He looks like he's been at this for some time...

Xiao Xingchen can't help but feel a little guilty by cutting them down when they don't appear lethal. Still, he doesn't wish to be the next one caught in their trap, all while he's trying to rescue people here!

"Are you all right?" he asks, though... maybe he should ask after he gets the other cultivator down from the other vines.

[softheartedshizun]

Was he alright?

"Quite alright, it is simply this master's hobby to hang disgracefully," he spoke softly letting his sarcasm crumble into dust before him.

Of course, he was not alright! He looked like he had been violated by an entire arboretum!

[blindforlove]

Xiao Xingchen wipes his forehead with the back of his hand to keep the liquid from possibly rolling down into his eyes. At least he can preoccupy himself with that instead of the glimpse of... what he'd just seen.

Well, if it's only dangling around, he'll consider that all right enough!

"I'll help you down. Just let me cut you loose--"

He reaches for the dangling figure and the vines around him, trying to find where to cut so he doesn't fall ignominiously to the ground in a heap.

Now, while he's lived as a blind man for years, in his hurry he's come to rely on his sight again. It's a difficult mode to simply get into or get out of. So he fumbles around with the sap in his eyes, only realizing too late that his hand has landed on... the other man's exposed skin.

[softheartedshizun]

He was about to speak his thanks but then he felt the hand directly on him and... well, he had not expected sudden contact to entice such an electric feeling through him, but then he supposed, he hadn't actually touched anyone yet and he was covered in all sorts of suspect fluids already that such a reaction should have probably been expected.

"Hand!" was all he managed to get out in the shock of it.

[blindforlove]

Xiao Xingchen freezes, taking a moment to realize what has happened. With another rush of blood to his face (Just his face! Really!) he takes away his hand as if it had been burned.

He backs away, wide-eyed.

“I-I’m so sorry-- ahh!”

His extreme embarrassment distracts him from the vine he steps over, which tightens and wraps around his ankle. Fortunately, he pulls away fast enough that the vine only has his boot and hasn’t quite caught him yet. Stumbling backwards, more vines fall down around him like a net, seeking to tighten around him.

This is definitely not going to be an easy rescue.

“Just one moment! I’ll… surely help you out of there! Ah, what are these things?”

[softheartedshizun]

Oh dear. His savior was quickly becoming overtaken as well.

"Some sort of vine, they taste like sweet coconut milk," don't ask how he knows that!

Meanwhile, the vines that had been cut were being replaced with new vines to intertwine around him again.

[blindforlove]

The vines whip and lash at Xiao Xingchen’s limbs, trying to catch and wrap around them. He manages to dodge some and chop others down, but he has to slip free out his outermost, unbelted robe layer, as a vine grips onto the loose fabric. So many of them, and they’re aiming to grab at anything they can...

“Really? Ah, I’m unfamiliar with the taste of… coconut-- please, look away!”

Because he’s about to undo his belt, just in case the vines grab another layer of his clothing. Still, he can try to converse with the man he's about to rescue. In just a moment.

"Perhaps they can be used as food!" But with the way they act, who knows where they've been?

[softheartedshizun]

"This master supposes they could be milked-" he cringed at his own words ready to die.

Yes. Just let him die now!

"Do not worry! This one is not looking anywhere!" he did try and keep his gaze away, though it was a bit difficult as he was restricted from turning too much.

[blindforlove]

Fortunately for Shen Qingqiu, he’s speaking to a man who would not understand such an innuendo. Though even if he did, they’re both men of thin face; Xiao Xingchen wouldn’t bring any attention to it!

Not that he could, while fighting these vines.

“Perhaps from a safe distance, but right now… I’ll get you free!”

He makes a sword seal and sends his blade flying at the vines holding the other man. But before Shen Qingqiu can hit the ground, Xiao Xingchen runs at him and grabs him by the waist, hoisting him over his shoulder like a sack.

An unusually ungraceful rescue, but it’ll have to do!

[softheartedshizun]

What is this? What is this carry? Is he a bag of rice!? His clothes were too precarious for this sort of thing.

"That... this!" no, it's fine, let him die and pretend you never saw him. Perhaps his disgrace can be forgotten and thus never witnessed. Don't expose the consequences of such fondling by plants!

[blindforlove]

Xiao Xingchen's own clothes are disheveled, so they at least match in this regard as well! Though Shen Qingqiu has it far worse, he would agree, but not to compare misery!

He runs through the vegetation as fast as he can, even if he's lost both boots now. It takes a moment until it thins out into a clearing. Only short shrubs dot the area, soft grass and flowers beneath them. It's unlikely there's any other nasty surprises here. (But who could ever be sure?)

Carefully, he sets Shen Qingqiu down and quickly looks away, his face still flushed pink. Ah, if he still wasn't sighted, he wouldn't have to consider his impropriety...

[softheartedshizun]

He tried his best to close his robes and look as dignified as he could, though it was definitely hard to try and pull off.

"You have my deepest thanks," and may we never speak of it again!

[blindforlove]

Xiao Xingchen makes a quiet sound of acknowledgement. Never before in his time of night hunting has something tried to-- well, he prefers when they're simply trying to kill him!

"If you're all right, ah... I need to head back in and retrieve my clothes. If there's anything you need, I'll also bring it back."

Just asking a man he's just rescued if he needs any clothes back from the horny forest, no big deal.

RPS and You!

[air_head]

"Oho? You wouldn't?" At that moment, personal space seems like someone else's problem as the young looking man leans down a touch too close over his shoulder, close enough to make out the raunchy art adorning the nice volume, if not get a good look at the title or the script. Shi Qingxuan has been starved for entertainment. The closest he could get to was sending messages to random strangers for a bit of fun. He's even gotten back a couple of "compromising" holograms.

"You're right, though," he taps his chin thoughtfully, masking his intense desire to snatch the book for a better look, "crying during sex is such a turn off."

Maybe he should start commissioning people for delicate materials.

[softheartedshizun]

Shen Qingqiu pauses a moment, he doesn't slam the book closed or give any indication of being bothered, though inside he was screaming a little. Who was this person and why were they practically ontop of him!?

However, despite the sudden discomfort he only clears his throat a little and pulling out his fan to obscure his face a little. Not that it helped when the person was behind your shoulder.

"Crying isn't so bad," at least he had gotten used to staring at a crying face.

[air_head]

"You ever try kissing someone with snot in the way?"

He takes advantage of the fan being whipped out to snatch the illustrated volume out of the young man's hand. Shi Qingxuan straightens up to his full height, nose all but buried in the book. And it was generously, illustrated, too!

"Where did you get this copy?" he exclaims in indignation after flipping through some pages, his eyes finding some familiar characters once they stopped focusing on the more illustrative side, "I had to bribe the Civil-- uh, my friend, and even she couldn't get me one with pictures! But then she just had to go and tattle to my brother and he confiscated it. The prude!"

If he is ever aware of the mortification of perusing someone else's porn right before their very eyes, he gives no indication of it.

[softheartedshizun]

Most the time? All the time? Though, he can’t say he was the one trying generally. The tears turned on and off in such a fashion anyway that if he thought about it, running snot was actually more of a rarity.

It took him a moment to try and decide what he wanted to say, or at least think of regarding this person before him. Clearly they were another cultivator, but... they seemed to be familiar with the Resentment of Chunshan, which, should mean they were from Proud Immortal Demon way, or at least the revised edition. However, this person was not familiar in any way, and he felt if he was going to run into someone in such an environment they should be a named character of some sort.

It was confusing....

“No idea, this master wasn’t the one who bought it,” but versions and editions were never lacking and he was sure that even rarest of copies Binghe could obtain if he really wanted to, so he couldn’t say if this was a rare version or not. “Personally they are rather upsetting....” and while he said this he reached for The Song of Bingqiu and flipped through it. Though they were indeed upsetting, he could appreciate the artistry in them at least.

If Shi Qingxuan looked carefully, he might see that the illustrations were quite the spitting image for Shen Qingqiu, it would seem the author was familiar with the person she was writing about.

[air_head]

"Upsetting? Have you seen the fine brush strokes on this? And the composition? Someone must have spent a fortune commissioning this!"

The only thing keeping him from settling nicely on the floor for a good, solid reading session is the mere possibility that the person whose reading material he has just appropriated may make a grab for it, back. It's not as if he's enthralled by a particularly raunchy part. In fact, the water dungeon encounter is more nail bitingly tense as much as titillating.

Shi Qingxuan's perfectly shaped eyebrows all but disappear into his hairline as much as his nose does into the text. He lowers the volume a safe distance from his face, peering over it at the young cultivator's face, then checking the illustration once more.

"Did... Did you model for this?" which really makes sense, if his assumption that it's a commissioned rendition is true, "The artist used you as reference, didn't they?"

[softheartedshizun]

He didn't say anything for a long time. He didn't really want to answer it. No matter what he answered it made him connected to it and he really didn't want to accept that.

But... he also didn't want to lie.

"No. But, this master is the person they were writing about. And before you say anything no, nothing they wrote about actually happened. It is only loosely based on actual events and all portrayals are completely OOC."

[air_head]

Shi Qingxuan's mouth formed into a perfect O--but his grip on the much coveted text remained firm. It's common knowledge that the much fabled saga was based on actual figures, the events notwithstanding. The wind master himself is the subject of a famous tale, himself, although no where near as interesting or tantalizing as the Resentment, of course.

He's shushed before he could interject, thoughts racing in his head while the alleged Shen Qingqiu defends himself and his chastity.

"Soooo, no one really drank their wine from your slipper while they touched you erotically?"

He sounds intrigued moreso than disappointed. That is one piece of the lore that's been debated over and over, some aficionados insisting it never existed in the original.

[softheartedshizun]

“What!?” His tone was completely incredulous. What sort of thing was that!? Who would do that!?

Binghe might do that.... After he read about it in these raunchy books....

But who would do that!?

“Of course not. None of those things happened. He has never hurt me or violated me either,” ignoring the times he was hurt a little bit, he understood they were not intentional, and... well, perhaps if he had done things differently and hadn’t run away.....

“We had a perfectly normal master disciple relationship.”

[air_head]

"Oh," it's hard to tell whether it's a subdued exclamation of disappointment or misunderstanding. Shi Qingxuan's excitement bubble through, however. It's a feat, containing his glee at meeting Shen Qingqiu. The Heavenly Official hardly gets to be around humans unless a mission mandates it in the strictest of sense, let alone someone who's inspired tales and plays.

"Please excuse me, I know I was rude."

A perfect bow, a rich young master's bow from days past as a carefree mortal, "My name is Shi Qingxuan... I just never expected to run into the real deal himself."

[softheartedshizun]

It was a bit odd running into someone he didn't know familiar with that story. Especially someone that exuded such high cultivation and refinement! What was this? Was he being shamed? Was he being looked down on from the powers that be?

But, what can he say, excited young looking people were a bit of a weakness. It was fair, people were fans of that story, though he had assumed they would all be girls.

"This master is not offended. The author writes what they wish to be real, it is only natural of people to indulge in fantasy."

[air_head]

"Aaaah, tell me about it! It can be too much, sometimes!"

The young man gesticulates with the air of someone who has been in the same boat, as mortifying a the boat seems. He whips out his fan to drive the point home, emphasizing every word dramatically.

"And then people eat that stuff up! And the next thing you know, everyone starts believing their own interpretation of your life and you're forced to play up to that because setting them straight is too inconvenient. As far as the mortal world is concerned, I'm actually a woman because they can't wrap their head around the fact that sometimes two guys can be professional and platonic while they're doing their work. Nooo, one of them has to be secretly a girl and pining for other guy!"

And that's how mortals ended up shipping Shi Qingxuan with his own brother, but he's too out of breath at that point to launch into that horrific portion of his woes.

[softheartedshizun]

He nodded slowly, his own fan waving softly causing his hair to flutter slightly. That sounded about right. There were a lot of legends of gods that changed genders the further back you went. Wasn’t Guanyin a man in India? Not to mention a story of two men just did not sell to the masses, you only get a small subset of the population with such stories. Of course one would want to turn it into a potential romance, a man and a woman, dragging it out as far as possible. Everyone ate that sort of stuff. Men would go on about how they wanted such a loyal beauty, and women would talk about all the sappy emotionally charged moments.

Or... something.

What he did take away from this small rant was that this person was an immortal who had ascended to heaven.

How unfair! That was the goal of all cultivators! Here he was a mid golden core with no chance of ever getting there because the original goods just didn’t start early enough! Not to mention the heavens in Proud Immortal Demon Way had been cut off from everything for a long time! Of course Airplane Shooting Through the Sky probably just wanted to be lazy and not deal with that aspect of cultivation since he had already made such a low fantasy story.

But, even if he could ascend he wouldn’t really want to.... It wasn’t as if Binghe could ascend even with his amazing cultivation. The demon half of him would make it difficult. Though, if Heavenly Demons originated from Heaven, could they return if the proved decent?

Either way after a while going through these various thoughts he finally replied. “We are brothers in kind” let us commiserate in our pain.