( BAGMAN STATS.everyone roll for the bagman on your turn, fuck initiative we're rping and tag order is hard. bagman has 500hp bc we love a strong cryptid. bagman can come out of ANY bag, it doesn't have to be of holding. )
[ It's late. Rain patters against the windowpane in the dark bedroom where Fjord sleeps with a tiefling tucked at his side, snoring lightly, and all three houses are (relatively, unless their occupants are enjoying some alone time) quiet.
It's peaceful and safe. Mostly.
In the corner of the room the Bag of Holding falls over with a soft Whumph. Out of it rolls the Cloven Crystal, the glass ball wheeling across the floorboards until it comes to a halt by Fjord's boots where he left them by the door. Then, in the silent moonlight, an elongated arm protrudes from the bag in the wardrobe and reaches over the space to pat the boots in search of the ball, wrinkled skin trembling on a withered limb, the latter of which is joined by more as legs and an arm squirm out of the knapsack with disproportionate ease, joints clicking as the creature unravels spider-like out of the wardrobe and looms over the bed.
Yellow eyes peer through stringy, oily hair, swerving to the topmost body after it fails to find the crystal.
Fjord blearily blinks awake to the sensation of Molly pulling away — no, being pulled — and he registers how the tiefling is sliding off him only to feel all the blood in his body freeze when his Darkvision unblurs the sight to reveal a monster trying to haul Molly off the bed.
Screaming, he scrabbles up the bed and immediately casts three Eldritch Blasts (unnatural 20, 29, and 28 to hit) which rocket with unerring accuracy to blast the monster in the face and torso (13, 13, 8, 34pts damage) to shoot it clean off his partner.
Boom-BOOM-BOOM!! The noise is like thunder, rocketing through the house. ]
Molly, get up!
[ He reaches to try and grasp Molly's arm, the Bagman distracted by the surprise attack and having released a lavender ankle.
[ Molly was sleeping soundly, snoozing against Fjord's chest when he's slowly dragged from his cozy pillow. It makes him wake up a little bit, at first thinking his lover was just rearranging the blankets.
Then there's a harder yank and he's pulled off the bed just as the world explodes in Eldritch Blasts and Fjord yelling his name. Seeing just what was grabbing him, the tiefling screams and starts trying to kick it away. ]
No, no, no! Fuck, get off me!
[ While the creature is hit by the blasts it doesn't seem to bother it too much, and that huge hand is grabbing for him again, trying to pull towards the wardrobe. Turning, he grasps for Fjord's hand and then hisses at the monster, spitting out infernal mockery.
...it barely notices. Damn it, he's still the weakest! ]
What the fuck is that?! His second thought is not reserved for how it got in or why but for getting them out as the monster seems to shake off Molly's attack. It judges Fjord as the bigger threat and with horrific sinuousness swerves around Molly in his grasp to (unnatural 20 to hit) bite the Paladin on the shoulder with its stinking, fetid maw, causing Fjord to scream (8pts attack) as the swift sting of fangs rakes across his flesh.
With one hand still holding tightly onto Molly's hand (11 str) the pain is so startling that he loses his grip and staggers back with the shock. The summoned Star Razor lights up the room in a flash, causing the creature to shy a little, and Fjord takes his swinging attacks (unnatural 20, 24) that in the small bedroom find their target again, but the wounds are only skin-deep on the monster that seems to have nothing but (24pts damage) and it barely takes a step back in the shadow, emitting a rattling breath.
[ This is the worst time for this bullshit. He doesn't have his swords close and he's fucking naked while some nightmare monster is trying to eat him(?). He screams again as this bastard is biting his boyfriend, and when Fjord loses his grip he's pulled closer to the creature. ]
Nonono!
[ It's disgusting and smells like death, but at least he's closer now to claw at the monster... doing a whole 1 damage. He's trying, okay? ]
Throw me something! Anything!
[ He refuses to go down like a damsel in distress, kicking and fighting this creature. ]
Jester skids into the room, half-awake, dressed in an oversized t-shirt, eyes widening as she takes in the scene before her: Molly, half-dragged off the bed by some terrifying creature, Fjord slinging Eldritch Blasts every which way. She doesn’t have much available in terms of attack spells, but she does have something useful. Taking a deep breath and holding it, she summons up the radiant energy she knows is waiting to be tapped, holds out her palm, and sends a guiding bolt sailing at the creature (26, 11 pts dmg). As she does, she shrieks,
[ The topmost bedrooms in the Neinhaus are the warmest with the way the heat rises in the building, one of the reasons the girls tend to sleep up there. The spare bedroom is used for guests whenever a bed is urgently needed (which happens more often than anyone admits) but it also has a nice old armchair that Fjord has claimed for his own ever since the automatons finished off the building, a little table for books and hot cocoa nearby in the light of the window. With the bed still neatly untouched, he curls up in the armchair with a blanket and reads through his latest haul from the library, proof-reading them for Caleb, if you will, because while Fjord can skim any old dumb shit he knows his friend prefers something with emotional weight to the historical porno backdrop.
That's where he dozes off in a crumpled tshirt and slacks, arm around a knitted blanket as if holding someone (it really is too warm up here) in the sunshine pouring through the curtains with bare, clawed toes peeking over the edge; somehow, the chair is big enough to fit him comfortably inside without trying, but then again it was designed by the automatons at the Augur's behest like everything else in the house and he suspects they know how he likes to feel surrounded, safe.
His soft snores fill the room, the device left next to his firewhiskey occasionally beeping quietly. ]
[Honestly, Jester doesn't even realize there's anyone in the room next to hers for quite some time. She's busied herself in her window seat with some of her new paper and paints, working on a landscape of the view from her window, and it isn't until she makes a trip to the bathroom to rinse out her dirty paint water cup that she catches a glimpse of a body slumped in a chair as she passes by. She backs up three steps, peering into the room and gasping to herself at the sheer adorability of the scene in front of her.
Ever-so-gently, she sets down her clean brushes and cup on the table next to him, picking up the book and dog-earing the page he was on. He looks so cute all curled up in the chair, and she almost doesn't want to wake him...but she also kind of wants to tease him about it. So she leans down and brushes his hair away from his forehead, murmuring gently but loudly enough to try and wake him.]
[ Sleeping Beauty snorts awake at the touch, lashes batting as he blinks up blearily to see a very pretty blue face limned in golden sunshine. Oh. ]
G'mornin ...
[ If it even is. What is time? Glancing around the room reveals no one else so he shifts in his bundle and hooks a finger in the front of Jester's top, too comfortable to get up yet with no other witnesses to make him. ]
[For her part, Jester just smiles down at him as he wakes up, blinking the sleep from his eyes. She laughs softly as she's tugged forward, bracing herself with her hands on the arms of the chair, hovering over him.]
It's, like, early afternoon. How long have you been in here?
[ After downing a few beers at the beachside bar and mostly drying off after a dip in the ocean, it seems like a good idea to buy a bottle of wine and make his way up the sandy street to the temple bearing down from above, the dominating sight of Aphrodite's temple casting cooling shadows on the hot land below. As he stumbles a little on the steps of the grounds and regains his balance, he takes a couple of deep breaths and snatches up one of the numerous rose petals around to chew on, dulling the alcoholic taste in his mouth.
In a loose henley and worn trousers, booted to the thigh, he wanders the grounds and pats the leg of the half-naked statue when he passes it, making his way inside the lofty halls. Everything is rose-tinted and soft gold in the sunshine, pretty and inviting, and he barely resists the chaise longues with their plush pillows in his search for their mistress. ]
[The temple halls are vast and empty, with unlit braziers, suggesting that the lady of the house was perhaps out, but Fjord's voice carries in the vaste chambers of Aphrodite's temple, and there's a called response from deeper within, her voice surprised but no less pleased by the impromptu visit from her lover.]
In the bedroom darling~!
[Which bedroom would be an apt question, but following her voice leads Fjord to the chambers she claimed for her own. A large, plush bed sat at the far end of the room, draped in sheer curtains that billow gently in the sea breeze that comes in through the tall, open windows. Her room smells of ocean and roses and sunshine, all of the shadows made soft by the sunshine that reflects off of the gold details on the wall. Beautiful and decadant without pushing too far into ostentatious.
Near to the door is her vanity, where Aphrodite is putting on the last touches on her look for the day – a sweeping long dress that clasps at her shoulders, and her long pink hair painstakingly pinned up. Don't mind that it's mid day, time is largely meaningless to her and sometimes one must sleep until noon.
She sees Fjord in the reflection of her mirror, obscured enough that she doesn't notice his inebriated gait right away, and she would wave him in if her hands weren't busy painting her lips pink.]
[ She looks like she belongs here, which she does. The room smells like everything Fjord loves and as he makes his way over to Aphrodite he feels himself mildly sober up when his lips meet the exposed nape of her neck, the wine bottle placed on the vanity near a brush and hairpins. His breath is hot and he hums a greeting, trailing his fingers down her arms. ]
You look beautiful ...
[ Fjord smells like the sea and a little like alcohol, although the worst has blown off during his walk up to the temple. ]
How is the most gorgeous goddess in any world today?
[A pleasant shiver goes down her spine at the lips on her neck at the same time that his fingers run down her arms, and she leans into it, watching him in the mirror and humming a pleased note at the heat coming off of him from the time he's been outside, evident on his skin even through the fabric of his clothes.]
Wonderful, now that you're here. [Catching his hand, she brings it up to press a kiss against the back of it - the pink-red imprint of her lipstick left behind like a tattoo on his skin. And she turns around to do the same to his lips. Kissing him slow as a greeting.]
Mm, you taste like roses. [She hums against his lips, smile curved at the edge of her lips. There's alcohol on his lips and something else, hm.] Have you been drinking...?
[ It had taken him a while to get it done, and just like the last time he asked this of the Augur, it burned afterwards. Not as horribly so as the whole arm, but enough to be annoying. He's giddy afterwards, feeling almost a little high. This time his tattoo adventures were going to make Fjord happy.
(He won't forget who he loves.)
Molly comes back to the ship that evening with a big smile on his face, almost dancing up the gangplank and then going to look for Fjord. ]
Fjorrrd~? [ He purrs, smiling as he tries to find his captain. ] I'm ever so hurt, will you come heal me?
[ Sat at the table in the captain's quarters where he pauses inking one of his City maps, he looks up with a smile and offers Molly a hand in welcome. The tiefling gets a once-over, critical of how hurt he really is. ]
[ He heals him with the kiss, casting just as their lips touch so the warmth spreads through Molly like a warm rush of wind, and uses a 5th level because Molly gets the best on default for 25 points of healing. As Fjord leans back he tilts his head quizzically. ]
[ The things Fjord knows about Keyleth are simple: Vax was (or is, he's unsure on that) in love with her, she has cool druid powers, and she's sad. As in, super sad, and he may not have made that exponentially worse at Zone of Truth or Dare but he gets the sense he didn't entirely help either. No great surprise considering he was wasted for more of the evening than not. Also, through Vex, he knows there's some wild undercurrent of drama going on in Vox Machina and if that were the case with the Nein he would want to escape from the houses too. That's why he invites her to the ship for a tour, because it's finally a sunny day and the Ball-Eater is always a good place for people to stroll out their thoughts or air out their brain.
He waits for her by the gangplank leading down to the small dock against which the huge galleon is anchored portside. Idly browsing his device, he checks to see if she's running late. ]
[Keyleth is rarely ever quick to blame anyone else for things that happen, and it has honestly not occurred to her to blame Fjord for anything that happened in the Zone of Truth or Dare. Sure, he was involved, but as far as it goes, she considers herself fully to blame for the fact that things got so much worse.
Still, it's nice to get out of the house, especially when you've spent almost the entirety of your time since the Zone of Truth or Dare in bed, especially when you're the sort of person who thrives on fresh air and sunshine. See: making things worse for yourself. And Fjord is a good person and a nice friend, and Keyleth is genuinely excited to see him.]
Hi Fjord! Thanks for, um, inviting me out here. Sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to...it took me a little bit to get ready.
[which is what happens when you don't brush your hair for a couple days, apparently. who knew?]
Keyleth, hi! No worries, I was just enjoying the sunshine. You look nice.
[ A bit peaky, but. He waves her onto the ship. ]
I was thinking we would hit up the crow's nest and the other ones first, if you don't mind me casting Fly on us. An eagle-eye view might be best to start off with.
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( JUN )
( ★ )
• jester & molly; sexscape, checking in with molly & jester later
( molly & co; the BAGMAN COMETH )
[ It's late. Rain patters against the windowpane in the dark bedroom where Fjord sleeps with a tiefling tucked at his side, snoring lightly, and all three houses are (relatively, unless their occupants are enjoying some alone time) quiet.
It's peaceful and safe. Mostly.
In the corner of the room the Bag of Holding falls over with a soft Whumph. Out of it rolls the Cloven Crystal, the glass ball wheeling across the floorboards until it comes to a halt by Fjord's boots where he left them by the door. Then, in the silent moonlight, an elongated arm protrudes from the bag in the wardrobe and reaches over the space to pat the boots in search of the ball, wrinkled skin trembling on a withered limb, the latter of which is joined by more as legs and an arm squirm out of the knapsack with disproportionate ease, joints clicking as the creature unravels spider-like out of the wardrobe and looms over the bed.
Yellow eyes peer through stringy, oily hair, swerving to the topmost body after it fails to find the crystal.
Fjord blearily blinks awake to the sensation of Molly pulling away — no, being pulled — and he registers how the tiefling is sliding off him only to feel all the blood in his body freeze when his Darkvision unblurs the sight to reveal a monster trying to haul Molly off the bed.
Screaming, he scrabbles up the bed and immediately casts three Eldritch Blasts (unnatural 20, 29, and 28 to hit) which rocket with unerring accuracy to blast the monster in the face and torso (13, 13, 8, 34pts damage) to shoot it clean off his partner.
Boom-BOOM-BOOM!! The noise is like thunder, rocketing through the house. ]
Molly, get up!
[ He reaches to try and grasp Molly's arm, the Bagman distracted by the surprise attack and having released a lavender ankle.
Bagman: 500 - 34 = 466hp ]
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Then there's a harder yank and he's pulled off the bed just as the world explodes in Eldritch Blasts and Fjord yelling his name. Seeing just what was grabbing him, the tiefling screams and starts trying to kick it away. ]
No, no, no! Fuck, get off me!
[ While the creature is hit by the blasts it doesn't seem to bother it too much, and that huge hand is grabbing for him again, trying to pull towards the wardrobe. Turning, he grasps for Fjord's hand and then hisses at the monster, spitting out infernal mockery.
...it barely notices. Damn it, he's still the weakest! ]
[ Bagman: 466 - 4 = 462hp ]
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What the fuck is that?! His second thought is not reserved for how it got in or why but for getting them out as the monster seems to shake off Molly's attack. It judges Fjord as the bigger threat and with horrific sinuousness swerves around Molly in his grasp to (unnatural 20 to hit) bite the Paladin on the shoulder with its stinking, fetid maw, causing Fjord to scream (8pts attack) as the swift sting of fangs rakes across his flesh.
With one hand still holding tightly onto Molly's hand (11 str) the pain is so startling that he loses his grip and staggers back with the shock. The summoned Star Razor lights up the room in a flash, causing the creature to shy a little, and Fjord takes his swinging attacks (unnatural 20, 24) that in the small bedroom find their target again, but the wounds are only skin-deep on the monster that seems to have nothing but (24pts damage) and it barely takes a step back in the shadow, emitting a rattling breath.
Fjord yells as loudly as he can, ]
EVERYONE UP!
[ Bagman 472 - 24 = 448hp ]
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Nonono!
[ It's disgusting and smells like death, but at least he's closer now to claw at the monster... doing a whole 1 damage. He's trying, okay? ]
Throw me something! Anything!
[ He refuses to go down like a damsel in distress, kicking and fighting this creature. ]
[ Bagman 448 - 1 = 447hp ]
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Jester skids into the room, half-awake, dressed in an oversized t-shirt, eyes widening as she takes in the scene before her: Molly, half-dragged off the bed by some terrifying creature, Fjord slinging Eldritch Blasts every which way. She doesn’t have much available in terms of attack spells, but she does have something useful. Taking a deep breath and holding it, she summons up the radiant energy she knows is waiting to be tapped, holds out her palm, and sends a guiding bolt sailing at the creature (26, 11 pts dmg). As she does, she shrieks,
“What the fuck is that fucking thing—!”
[Bagman 457-11 = 446, no HP regain next turn!]
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( jester; MESSY )
That's where he dozes off in a crumpled tshirt and slacks, arm around a knitted blanket as if holding someone (it really is too warm up here) in the sunshine pouring through the curtains with bare, clawed toes peeking over the edge; somehow, the chair is big enough to fit him comfortably inside without trying, but then again it was designed by the automatons at the Augur's behest like everything else in the house and he suspects they know how he likes to feel surrounded, safe.
His soft snores fill the room, the device left next to his firewhiskey occasionally beeping quietly. ]
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Ever-so-gently, she sets down her clean brushes and cup on the table next to him, picking up the book and dog-earing the page he was on. He looks so cute all curled up in the chair, and she almost doesn't want to wake him...but she also kind of wants to tease him about it. So she leans down and brushes his hair away from his forehead, murmuring gently but loudly enough to try and wake him.]
Hi, sleeping beauty.
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G'mornin ...
[ If it even is. What is time? Glancing around the room reveals no one else so he shifts in his bundle and hooks a finger in the front of Jester's top, too comfortable to get up yet with no other witnesses to make him. ]
Time s'it?
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It's, like, early afternoon. How long have you been in here?
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[ Squinting as he rubs his eyes, he smiles and tilts his head up for a kiss. Shameless. ]
Why are you creeping on me, hmm?
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( ★ )
( aphrodite; ALCOHOL )
In a loose henley and worn trousers, booted to the thigh, he wanders the grounds and pats the leg of the half-naked statue when he passes it, making his way inside the lofty halls. Everything is rose-tinted and soft gold in the sunshine, pretty and inviting, and he barely resists the chaise longues with their plush pillows in his search for their mistress. ]
Oh, Aphroditeee ...
:D
In the bedroom darling~!
[Which bedroom would be an apt question, but following her voice leads Fjord to the chambers she claimed for her own. A large, plush bed sat at the far end of the room, draped in sheer curtains that billow gently in the sea breeze that comes in through the tall, open windows. Her room smells of ocean and roses and sunshine, all of the shadows made soft by the sunshine that reflects off of the gold details on the wall. Beautiful and decadant without pushing too far into ostentatious.
Near to the door is her vanity, where Aphrodite is putting on the last touches on her look for the day – a sweeping long dress that clasps at her shoulders, and her long pink hair painstakingly pinned up. Don't mind that it's mid day, time is largely meaningless to her and sometimes one must sleep until noon.
She sees Fjord in the reflection of her mirror, obscured enough that she doesn't notice his inebriated gait right away, and she would wave him in if her hands weren't busy painting her lips pink.]
Come in, I'm almost finished.
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You look beautiful ...
[ Fjord smells like the sea and a little like alcohol, although the worst has blown off during his walk up to the temple. ]
How is the most gorgeous goddess in any world today?
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Wonderful, now that you're here. [Catching his hand, she brings it up to press a kiss against the back of it - the pink-red imprint of her lipstick left behind like a tattoo on his skin. And she turns around to do the same to his lips. Kissing him slow as a greeting.]
Mm, you taste like roses. [She hums against his lips, smile curved at the edge of her lips. There's alcohol on his lips and something else, hm.] Have you been drinking...?
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🌿 seaweed ring of promise
(He won't forget who he loves.)
Molly comes back to the ship that evening with a big smile on his face, almost dancing up the gangplank and then going to look for Fjord. ]
Fjorrrd~? [ He purrs, smiling as he tries to find his captain. ] I'm ever so hurt, will you come heal me?
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[ Sat at the table in the captain's quarters where he pauses inking one of his City maps, he looks up with a smile and offers Molly a hand in welcome. The tiefling gets a once-over, critical of how hurt he really is. ]
You look fine to me, what did you do?
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Gimme a heal boop and I'll tell you.
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[ He heals him with the kiss, casting just as their lips touch so the warmth spreads through Molly like a warm rush of wind, and uses a 5th level because Molly gets the best on default for 25 points of healing. As Fjord leans back he tilts his head quizzically. ]
Are you done being enigmatic?
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( keyleth; sugar and salt )
He waits for her by the gangplank leading down to the small dock against which the huge galleon is anchored portside. Idly browsing his device, he checks to see if she's running late. ]
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Still, it's nice to get out of the house, especially when you've spent almost the entirety of your time since the Zone of Truth or Dare in bed, especially when you're the sort of person who thrives on fresh air and sunshine. See: making things worse for yourself. And Fjord is a good person and a nice friend, and Keyleth is genuinely excited to see him.]
Hi Fjord! Thanks for, um, inviting me out here. Sorry it took me so long to get here, I had to...it took me a little bit to get ready.
[which is what happens when you don't brush your hair for a couple days, apparently. who knew?]
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[ A bit peaky, but. He waves her onto the ship. ]
I was thinking we would hit up the crow's nest and the other ones first, if you don't mind me casting Fly on us. An eagle-eye view might be best to start off with.
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I don't mind a bit! I fly all the time, so I feel, you know, pretty secure. You're the boss. Or...the captain, I guess.
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