[ He doesn't have the energy to argue again about how that isn't him, Lucien would never be him, but he's heartsick and trembling and so, so tired of this. ]
[ Pillows are pushed up against the wall and he tugs the blankets closer. Reclining, Fjord reasserts the hug to keep Molly inside the circle of his arms as those trembles start up again. ]
You're safe. I spoke to the Augur and they gave back something to help me protect us. Do you want to see?
[ Molly doesn't want to move, so Fjord getting himself comfy is barely noticed as he leans against the green chest. The hug does lessen the tremble a bit, the warmth slowly easing his tension. His tail has wrapped against Fjord's ankle, just holding on.
It all feels like it leaves a hole in him, though. A nothingness, empty. ]
...they did? Why didn't you tell me?
[ He asks, curious now. Nodding, Molly lifts his head a bit to watch. It had to be a spell, right? ]
I snuck off while you were busy, wanted it to be a surprise in the morning. This is better, though.
[ Letting go of Molly with one hand, he gives a bit of a show of 'nothing there, nothing up my sleeve here' even though he doesn't have a shirt on, trying to make it more carnival-esque when he holds his hand out over the bed above them and summons the Star Razor in a flash of lush green light.
He rests the handle against his wrist in order to hold the broadsword up one-handed. Snowflakes flutter down and he hazards a smile at Molly, shaking the excess off the blade so that they're in a mini storm, whooshwhooshwhoosh. ]
[ He very much appreciates the attempt at showmanship, and it draws a smile from him. It's sweet, how the half-orc tries to make him feel better in every way.
The gleam of the blade takes him out of his darkvision for a moment, and Molly can't quite stop a surprised laugh as he sees it steady in Fjord's hand. The snowflakes fall on his face, little stars of cold that wake up the numbness in him. ]
[ He rests the longsword across their laps and says the command, Galas'var, making the blade glow with a soft blue radiant light, runes brighter than the rest as they pick out against the marbled iceflex. Fjord guides Molly's hand to the hilt so he knows it's okay to explore. ]
It carries within it the blessing of the fiercest full moon and starlight, that's why it glows. An acolyte of the Moonweaver helped one of the Wildmother make it, back in the Age of Arcanum.
[ Molly strokes his fingers over the flat of the blade, amazed how long it is, marveling at the marbled color and the shining runes. It's cold, like his scimitars when he activates that rite. ]
The Moonweaver and the Wildmother.
[ There's a somewhat broken laugh at that, and he nods. ]
Good. I'm glad you have it back, it looks like an extension of you.
It is, and if you listen closely, you can hear it ...
[ He looks entirely serious as he cups a hand to an ear, leaning down. ]
'Molly, don't be sad ... Molly, I'll stick myself up people's butts if you want me to ...' [ Fjord shrugs, as matter-of-fact as he can without breaking a smile. ] Well, there you have it.
[ It says something for Molly's tired state when he fully accepts that the sword can talk before Fjord starts whispering. The laugh it brings from him is a lot more stable and genuine, and he pats the sword gently. ]
Thank you, darling.
[ The sword or Fjord? Who knows. ]
I hope this dream sharing doesn't continue. I trust you, but I don't know if anyone else sees them.
[ Something as stupid as the sword 'talking' just proves how sweet Fjord is, and it kind of helps in a backwards way, knowing they can still be silly in all of this. ]
I hope so. I don't often dream, so it's all so much more vivid when I do.
[ He doesn't dream much either, and when he does it's hard to remember the mush of images and sentiments. Like a play behind a misty curtain, unimportant when his mind would just rather rest after straining to handle the vivid nightmares of Uk'otoa after so long.
Fingernails pick at the runes on the sword. ]
I'm sorry ... that I told you. I had no right to dump everything on you like I did.
[ He's been Thinking Stuff Over since their cry for help over the network, three-offers in from other people who were willing to give Fjord their favours with the Augur so that he could have his powers back. Three strangers who saw his distress and acted. Meanwhile, Molly has been suffering quietly, pushed away and mocked, and all Fjord has done is make him a fucking bath to apologise. It's a lot, being on the island, he agrees with that, but he can't find any excuse for how badly he's letting Molly down; letting one of the Nein down. Fuck. All his recent musings and inner debates crescendo into a tornado in his chest as he cups Molly's face and acts on what feels like reliable impulse in the moment, not possessing the words to sew up the fault-lines he has cracked through his friend and reduced to actions instead.
The kiss is quick and chaste, and he leans back once it parts with a soft sound. His cheeks feel like they might be on fire as well as his ears, but Fjord stays as calm as he can, all but defiantly holding eye-contact. A ball of anxiety bounces around his ribs but he holds it together. ]
Then don't feel those things.
[ Fjord has no wise advice, only what he regards as relatively acceptable behaviour based off what he thinks he would do in the same position. ]
[ Molly's stewing in the moment of silence, wondering if he should just leave and find some alcohol. He doesn't blame Fjord for anything (the bath was a nice apology) but he's just not been himself for a while now. Getting fucked up every day just to not feel like he's shattering.
There's a green hand at his face, cupping his chin, and those red eyes widen a bit in surprise when Fjord' lips meet his own in a sweet little kiss. It might be chaste and quick, but it's still a kiss from Fjord, which isn't something he'd expect.
Neither is the blushing and the desperate eye-contact, like he's trying to build himself up. Draw strength. Feel something else.
Molly leans up and returns the kiss, slowly and questioning with a brush of his nose against the half-orc's. ]
[ It's all going on in the world of Fjord's brain, too many highways are bisecting for him to care if he's messing up again.
He's never kissed someone out of a desire to comfort them before, it's a different experience and doubly so because it's Molly in his face, although that turns out to be grounding and stops any rising panic. Weirdly. Sliding his hand up into curly hair he brushes his thumb over an ear, back and forth distractedly as he picks up the hesitant kiss and turns it firmer, just a quiet affair of lips and bumping noses as he finds out what it's like to have Molly's mouth on his, lips parting and re-sealing in unhurried exploration. Chaste, fond, and not shying away. He tries to put the words I'll protect you into the press of their mouths before he leans back and searches red eyes.
To see how that went, mostly. Surprisingly short of breath. ]
[ Molly's eyes are half-lidded and he's surprisingly sweet and pliant in the kisses, keeping them on the chaste side to follow Fjord's lead. It's soothing in a way he did not expect, and for a moment his head focuses only on this.
Once the half-orc leans back, Molly has a slight smile on his face, lips a little wet and a flush on his cheeks that just seems outlandish on a shameless hedonist. ]
[ His own smile tweaks back up under the warmth of Molly's and Fjord wraps his arm around his shoulders again, sliding his other hand back to the crook of a neck. ]
If you need — If that helps, if I can help, then ... any time. Same as you said to me. I'm not sure [ hah, with a breathy laugh ] what I'm doing but I know that I want to be here for you. I don't want you to second-guess that. Alright?
[ Some of his hesitancy is still there underneath, inexplicably woven into him from a young age, but there's a loosening of those ropes around his chest and it comes from a place of care for Molly. He wouldn't want any of the Nein to feel uncomfortable asking for his help or reassurance.
Fjord dispels the sword and the room goes dark, disorientating him as he tugs up the blankets for them to get some sleep. His arms wrap around Molly and with the tiefling pillowed on his chest there's a nice soft space between his horns where Fjord buries his face, cushioned by curls. ]
[ They're so close and Molly's skin is hot against Fjord's as they hold eachother like this. The tiefling is soon making little snoozing sounds, falling back asleep a lot easier than he thought after that shared dream.
He doesn't know what to think at all about this and what it means for them to wiggle this line between friends, but it helped. It helped a lot. Molly knows it's not going to completely heal this cracking feeling in his chest or change the frustration and anger that boils every time the half-orc says he's the same as Lucien... but in the end, Fjord's on his side. Cares for him this much, despite how short a time they've known eachother.
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lusi2020-11-13 08:36 pm
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[ With a sigh he plants his cheek on a forehead, half on a horn. Rubs Molly's back a bit faster!! ]
I won't let you forget me, asshole. You can't get away that easily.
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It was weird.
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[ Pillows are pushed up against the wall and he tugs the blankets closer. Reclining, Fjord reasserts the hug to keep Molly inside the circle of his arms as those trembles start up again. ]
You're safe. I spoke to the Augur and they gave back something to help me protect us. Do you want to see?
[ Might be a good distraction for those nerves. ]
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It all feels like it leaves a hole in him, though. A nothingness, empty. ]
...they did? Why didn't you tell me?
[ He asks, curious now. Nodding, Molly lifts his head a bit to watch. It had to be a spell, right? ]
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[ Letting go of Molly with one hand, he gives a bit of a show of 'nothing there, nothing up my sleeve here' even though he doesn't have a shirt on, trying to make it more carnival-esque when he holds his hand out over the bed above them and summons the Star Razor in a flash of lush green light.
He rests the handle against his wrist in order to hold the broadsword up one-handed. Snowflakes flutter down and he hazards a smile at Molly, shaking the excess off the blade so that they're in a mini storm, whooshwhooshwhoosh. ]
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The gleam of the blade takes him out of his darkvision for a moment, and Molly can't quite stop a surprised laugh as he sees it steady in Fjord's hand. The snowflakes fall on his face, little stars of cold that wake up the numbness in him. ]
It's beautiful, Fjord. Star razor, right?
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[ He rests the longsword across their laps and says the command, Galas'var, making the blade glow with a soft blue radiant light, runes brighter than the rest as they pick out against the marbled iceflex. Fjord guides Molly's hand to the hilt so he knows it's okay to explore. ]
It carries within it the blessing of the fiercest full moon and starlight, that's why it glows. An acolyte of the Moonweaver helped one of the Wildmother make it, back in the Age of Arcanum.
And now it's here, keeping us safe.
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[ Molly strokes his fingers over the flat of the blade, amazed how long it is, marveling at the marbled color and the shining runes. It's cold, like his scimitars when he activates that rite. ]
The Moonweaver and the Wildmother.
[ There's a somewhat broken laugh at that, and he nods. ]
Good. I'm glad you have it back, it looks like an extension of you.
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[ He looks entirely serious as he cups a hand to an ear, leaning down. ]
'Molly, don't be sad ... Molly, I'll stick myself up people's butts if you want me to ...' [ Fjord shrugs, as matter-of-fact as he can without breaking a smile. ] Well, there you have it.
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Thank you, darling.
[ The sword or Fjord? Who knows. ]
I hope this dream sharing doesn't continue. I trust you, but I don't know if anyone else sees them.
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His smile evens out as Molly's worries crest again. ]
I assumed we were seeing them because we were sleeping together. In bed. Sleeping next to each other ... distance of our heads, or. Something.
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I hope so. I don't often dream, so it's all so much more vivid when I do.
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[ He doesn't dream much either, and when he does it's hard to remember the mush of images and sentiments. Like a play behind a misty curtain, unimportant when his mind would just rather rest after straining to handle the vivid nightmares of Uk'otoa after so long.
Fingernails pick at the runes on the sword. ]
I'm sorry ... that I told you. I had no right to dump everything on you like I did.
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[ In case things changed here. In case he lost himself. Gods, how he wanted the lie, though. The kindness of falsehood, of not knowing. ]
It's just... I can feel it in my chest, like I'm breaking.
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The kiss is quick and chaste, and he leans back once it parts with a soft sound. His cheeks feel like they might be on fire as well as his ears, but Fjord stays as calm as he can, all but defiantly holding eye-contact. A ball of anxiety bounces around his ribs but he holds it together. ]
Then don't feel those things.
[ Fjord has no wise advice, only what he regards as relatively acceptable behaviour based off what he thinks he would do in the same position. ]
Feel something else.
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There's a green hand at his face, cupping his chin, and those red eyes widen a bit in surprise when Fjord' lips meet his own in a sweet little kiss. It might be chaste and quick, but it's still a kiss from Fjord, which isn't something he'd expect.
Neither is the blushing and the desperate eye-contact, like he's trying to build himself up. Draw strength. Feel something else.
Molly leans up and returns the kiss, slowly and questioning with a brush of his nose against the half-orc's. ]
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He's never kissed someone out of a desire to comfort them before, it's a different experience and doubly so because it's Molly in his face, although that turns out to be grounding and stops any rising panic. Weirdly. Sliding his hand up into curly hair he brushes his thumb over an ear, back and forth distractedly as he picks up the hesitant kiss and turns it firmer, just a quiet affair of lips and bumping noses as he finds out what it's like to have Molly's mouth on his, lips parting and re-sealing in unhurried exploration. Chaste, fond, and not shying away. He tries to put the words I'll protect you into the press of their mouths before he leans back and searches red eyes.
To see how that went, mostly. Surprisingly short of breath. ]
... Hi.
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Once the half-orc leans back, Molly has a slight smile on his face, lips a little wet and a flush on his cheeks that just seems outlandish on a shameless hedonist. ]
...hi.
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If you need — If that helps, if I can help, then ... any time. Same as you said to me. I'm not sure [ hah, with a breathy laugh ] what I'm doing but I know that I want to be here for you. I don't want you to second-guess that. Alright?
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[ He laughs as well, leaning closer as his neck is cradled by that big hand. ]
Thank you, Fjord. I'm not sure what we're doing either, but really did help.
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Good. Great! I'm glad.
[ Patting Molly on the back like he did a job well done?? Fjord doesn't know. ]
Do you, ah, want to try going back to sleep?
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He's cuddling, kissing Fjord. The one he thought was the straightest and most burdened under toxic masculinity, and Fjord was the one initiating it. ]
Yeah. I'll try.
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Fjord dispels the sword and the room goes dark, disorientating him as he tugs up the blankets for them to get some sleep. His arms wrap around Molly and with the tiefling pillowed on his chest there's a nice soft space between his horns where Fjord buries his face, cushioned by curls. ]
Wake me up if you need to, it's okay.
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He doesn't know what to think at all about this and what it means for them to wiggle this line between friends, but it helped. It helped a lot. Molly knows it's not going to completely heal this cracking feeling in his chest or change the frustration and anger that boils every time the half-orc says he's the same as Lucien... but in the end, Fjord's on his side. Cares for him this much, despite how short a time they've known eachother.
He's grateful. ]