[ Something as stupid as the sword 'talking' just proves how sweet Fjord is, and it kind of helps in a backwards way, knowing they can still be silly in all of this. ]
I hope so. I don't often dream, so it's all so much more vivid when I do.
[ He doesn't dream much either, and when he does it's hard to remember the mush of images and sentiments. Like a play behind a misty curtain, unimportant when his mind would just rather rest after straining to handle the vivid nightmares of Uk'otoa after so long.
Fingernails pick at the runes on the sword. ]
I'm sorry ... that I told you. I had no right to dump everything on you like I did.
[ He's been Thinking Stuff Over since their cry for help over the network, three-offers in from other people who were willing to give Fjord their favours with the Augur so that he could have his powers back. Three strangers who saw his distress and acted. Meanwhile, Molly has been suffering quietly, pushed away and mocked, and all Fjord has done is make him a fucking bath to apologise. It's a lot, being on the island, he agrees with that, but he can't find any excuse for how badly he's letting Molly down; letting one of the Nein down. Fuck. All his recent musings and inner debates crescendo into a tornado in his chest as he cups Molly's face and acts on what feels like reliable impulse in the moment, not possessing the words to sew up the fault-lines he has cracked through his friend and reduced to actions instead.
The kiss is quick and chaste, and he leans back once it parts with a soft sound. His cheeks feel like they might be on fire as well as his ears, but Fjord stays as calm as he can, all but defiantly holding eye-contact. A ball of anxiety bounces around his ribs but he holds it together. ]
Then don't feel those things.
[ Fjord has no wise advice, only what he regards as relatively acceptable behaviour based off what he thinks he would do in the same position. ]
[ Molly's stewing in the moment of silence, wondering if he should just leave and find some alcohol. He doesn't blame Fjord for anything (the bath was a nice apology) but he's just not been himself for a while now. Getting fucked up every day just to not feel like he's shattering.
There's a green hand at his face, cupping his chin, and those red eyes widen a bit in surprise when Fjord' lips meet his own in a sweet little kiss. It might be chaste and quick, but it's still a kiss from Fjord, which isn't something he'd expect.
Neither is the blushing and the desperate eye-contact, like he's trying to build himself up. Draw strength. Feel something else.
Molly leans up and returns the kiss, slowly and questioning with a brush of his nose against the half-orc's. ]
[ It's all going on in the world of Fjord's brain, too many highways are bisecting for him to care if he's messing up again.
He's never kissed someone out of a desire to comfort them before, it's a different experience and doubly so because it's Molly in his face, although that turns out to be grounding and stops any rising panic. Weirdly. Sliding his hand up into curly hair he brushes his thumb over an ear, back and forth distractedly as he picks up the hesitant kiss and turns it firmer, just a quiet affair of lips and bumping noses as he finds out what it's like to have Molly's mouth on his, lips parting and re-sealing in unhurried exploration. Chaste, fond, and not shying away. He tries to put the words I'll protect you into the press of their mouths before he leans back and searches red eyes.
To see how that went, mostly. Surprisingly short of breath. ]
[ Molly's eyes are half-lidded and he's surprisingly sweet and pliant in the kisses, keeping them on the chaste side to follow Fjord's lead. It's soothing in a way he did not expect, and for a moment his head focuses only on this.
Once the half-orc leans back, Molly has a slight smile on his face, lips a little wet and a flush on his cheeks that just seems outlandish on a shameless hedonist. ]
[ His own smile tweaks back up under the warmth of Molly's and Fjord wraps his arm around his shoulders again, sliding his other hand back to the crook of a neck. ]
If you need — If that helps, if I can help, then ... any time. Same as you said to me. I'm not sure [ hah, with a breathy laugh ] what I'm doing but I know that I want to be here for you. I don't want you to second-guess that. Alright?
[ Some of his hesitancy is still there underneath, inexplicably woven into him from a young age, but there's a loosening of those ropes around his chest and it comes from a place of care for Molly. He wouldn't want any of the Nein to feel uncomfortable asking for his help or reassurance.
Fjord dispels the sword and the room goes dark, disorientating him as he tugs up the blankets for them to get some sleep. His arms wrap around Molly and with the tiefling pillowed on his chest there's a nice soft space between his horns where Fjord buries his face, cushioned by curls. ]
[ They're so close and Molly's skin is hot against Fjord's as they hold eachother like this. The tiefling is soon making little snoozing sounds, falling back asleep a lot easier than he thought after that shared dream.
He doesn't know what to think at all about this and what it means for them to wiggle this line between friends, but it helped. It helped a lot. Molly knows it's not going to completely heal this cracking feeling in his chest or change the frustration and anger that boils every time the half-orc says he's the same as Lucien... but in the end, Fjord's on his side. Cares for him this much, despite how short a time they've known eachother.
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lusi2020-11-13 08:36 pm
no subject
I hope so. I don't often dream, so it's all so much more vivid when I do.
no subject
[ He doesn't dream much either, and when he does it's hard to remember the mush of images and sentiments. Like a play behind a misty curtain, unimportant when his mind would just rather rest after straining to handle the vivid nightmares of Uk'otoa after so long.
Fingernails pick at the runes on the sword. ]
I'm sorry ... that I told you. I had no right to dump everything on you like I did.
no subject
[ In case things changed here. In case he lost himself. Gods, how he wanted the lie, though. The kindness of falsehood, of not knowing. ]
It's just... I can feel it in my chest, like I'm breaking.
no subject
The kiss is quick and chaste, and he leans back once it parts with a soft sound. His cheeks feel like they might be on fire as well as his ears, but Fjord stays as calm as he can, all but defiantly holding eye-contact. A ball of anxiety bounces around his ribs but he holds it together. ]
Then don't feel those things.
[ Fjord has no wise advice, only what he regards as relatively acceptable behaviour based off what he thinks he would do in the same position. ]
Feel something else.
no subject
There's a green hand at his face, cupping his chin, and those red eyes widen a bit in surprise when Fjord' lips meet his own in a sweet little kiss. It might be chaste and quick, but it's still a kiss from Fjord, which isn't something he'd expect.
Neither is the blushing and the desperate eye-contact, like he's trying to build himself up. Draw strength. Feel something else.
Molly leans up and returns the kiss, slowly and questioning with a brush of his nose against the half-orc's. ]
no subject
He's never kissed someone out of a desire to comfort them before, it's a different experience and doubly so because it's Molly in his face, although that turns out to be grounding and stops any rising panic. Weirdly. Sliding his hand up into curly hair he brushes his thumb over an ear, back and forth distractedly as he picks up the hesitant kiss and turns it firmer, just a quiet affair of lips and bumping noses as he finds out what it's like to have Molly's mouth on his, lips parting and re-sealing in unhurried exploration. Chaste, fond, and not shying away. He tries to put the words I'll protect you into the press of their mouths before he leans back and searches red eyes.
To see how that went, mostly. Surprisingly short of breath. ]
... Hi.
no subject
Once the half-orc leans back, Molly has a slight smile on his face, lips a little wet and a flush on his cheeks that just seems outlandish on a shameless hedonist. ]
...hi.
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If you need — If that helps, if I can help, then ... any time. Same as you said to me. I'm not sure [ hah, with a breathy laugh ] what I'm doing but I know that I want to be here for you. I don't want you to second-guess that. Alright?
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[ He laughs as well, leaning closer as his neck is cradled by that big hand. ]
Thank you, Fjord. I'm not sure what we're doing either, but really did help.
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Good. Great! I'm glad.
[ Patting Molly on the back like he did a job well done?? Fjord doesn't know. ]
Do you, ah, want to try going back to sleep?
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He's cuddling, kissing Fjord. The one he thought was the straightest and most burdened under toxic masculinity, and Fjord was the one initiating it. ]
Yeah. I'll try.
no subject
Fjord dispels the sword and the room goes dark, disorientating him as he tugs up the blankets for them to get some sleep. His arms wrap around Molly and with the tiefling pillowed on his chest there's a nice soft space between his horns where Fjord buries his face, cushioned by curls. ]
Wake me up if you need to, it's okay.
no subject
He doesn't know what to think at all about this and what it means for them to wiggle this line between friends, but it helped. It helped a lot. Molly knows it's not going to completely heal this cracking feeling in his chest or change the frustration and anger that boils every time the half-orc says he's the same as Lucien... but in the end, Fjord's on his side. Cares for him this much, despite how short a time they've known eachother.
He's grateful. ]