[ His eyes track the movement of that tail. The book lands back on his own bedside table and he folds his arms, staring at his own blanketed feet in the moonlight just to have somewhere else to look.
His smile fades, voice softer after a pause. ]
You really won't pull a stunt like that again, will you?
[ Molly bunches up a pillow under his head, watching Fjord for a moment before he pulls the sheets over his tail once more. As soon as they stop talking it feels like there's a world between them again, and he glances at the other bed when his boyfr... roommate speaks again. ]
I really won't. I learned my lesson in the worst of ways.
[ It does feel like Fjord made his point (perhaps a little too well judging by the way that tail flops). Measuring out the right words, he looks over at Molly. ]
I'm sorry I had such a visceral reaction to your tattoo, I just wasn't expecting it. I still had no right to ask you to change it.
[ He looks entirely confused, because tattoos are somewhat permanent as far as Fjord's common-sense goes. Only their benevolent overlord can vanish shit away as easy as pie. ]
[ He holds out his hands and drops them a moment later in exasperated guilt. ]
As much as I'm uncomfortable with a reminder of someone else stamped on your hand that will remind me of them when I'm with you, I don't want you to hurt yourself over my failure to stop that connection from happening. Don't deliberately hurt yourself because you want to make me happy. I feel ill thinking about you doing that to yourself.
[ Mild reassurance comes with Molly acknowledging he was acting a little crazy, although the guilt remains as Fjord sinks back into the pillows against his headboard. ]
Sliding down under the covers, he pulls them up to his chin and closes his eyes facing Molly, a deep well of sadness knotting in his chest. If he had just fucking said I started liking Jester in any way, shape, or form, this wouldn't have happened. It wouldn't feel like he's avoiding the man he loves because the ghost of someone else is haunting their relationship, goading Fjord to think about how pretty a blue pair of lips are or how bright her eyes always seem. It's all his fault that one of his friends would have burned himself just to make amends. Molly just wanted a memento of the people who love him.
Fjord lets out a shuddering sigh, otherwise staying silent. He can't speak, otherwise he'll say even more shit that upsets one or both of them. Better to keep it in. ]
[ Molly hears that sigh and almost turns around again, but then he can hear the half-orc setting in, so instead he turns his head away. He had fucked up so much between them, all because of that thoughtless use of magic... but at least Fjord was back. He was home.
He didn't hate him.
When Molly closes his eyes, it suddenly hits him how utterly exhausted he is, and he tries to fall asleep now that he at least can hear Fjord's breathing in the same room. ]
[ He has a similar thought cross his mind, at least we're here together, able to hear Molly across the room. It's cold comfort but it eventually sends Fjord to sleep, snoring softly. ]
[ Molly manages an hour or so of sleep before he turns too quickly in bed and almost falls out of it - he was used to the bigger version by now. He sits up, stroking his hands through his hair blearily - and then finds himself watching Fjord sleep for a while. It's soothing to the anxiety in his veins, and he can't help the small smile.
That's how he eventually falls asleep again, lying on his side and watching the half-orc breathe. For the first time in nearly a week, Molly gets a long rest. ]
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My kind?
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[ He turns a bit more to smile at Fjord, tail sliding up from under the sheets so it can swish animatedly while they talk. ]
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[ His eyes track the movement of that tail. The book lands back on his own bedside table and he folds his arms, staring at his own blanketed feet in the moonlight just to have somewhere else to look.
His smile fades, voice softer after a pause. ]
You really won't pull a stunt like that again, will you?
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I really won't. I learned my lesson in the worst of ways.
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I'm sorry I had such a visceral reaction to your tattoo, I just wasn't expecting it. I still had no right to ask you to change it.
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I made plans to get rid of it, you know. Me. That's how messed up love makes you, apparently.
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[ He looks entirely confused, because tattoos are somewhat permanent as far as Fjord's common-sense goes. Only their benevolent overlord can vanish shit away as easy as pie. ]
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[ Sitting up abruptly to stare at Molly, he sighs and slumps forward over his bent knees to rub at his face. Fuck's sake. ]
Don't ever do that. Please.
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[ He sighs and rubs his own face, almost mirroring Fjord. ]
I was a bit fucked up.
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[ He holds out his hands and drops them a moment later in exasperated guilt. ]
As much as I'm uncomfortable with a reminder of someone else stamped on your hand that will remind me of them when I'm with you, I don't want you to hurt yourself over my failure to stop that connection from happening. Don't deliberately hurt yourself because you want to make me happy. I feel ill thinking about you doing that to yourself.
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[ He sighs, pulling the blanket up all the way to his nose. ]
Is this how love is? A fucking mess? making people do shit they would never had done otherwise?
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I wouldn't know, this is my first rodeo.
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[ He married Caleb and it had been such a happy, fluffy love, but somehow this hurting, mad ache is better. It's real. ]
...I guess we should sleep.
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Sliding down under the covers, he pulls them up to his chin and closes his eyes facing Molly, a deep well of sadness knotting in his chest. If he had just fucking said I started liking Jester in any way, shape, or form, this wouldn't have happened. It wouldn't feel like he's avoiding the man he loves because the ghost of someone else is haunting their relationship, goading Fjord to think about how pretty a blue pair of lips are or how bright her eyes always seem. It's all his fault that one of his friends would have burned himself just to make amends. Molly just wanted a memento of the people who love him.
Fjord lets out a shuddering sigh, otherwise staying silent. He can't speak, otherwise he'll say even more shit that upsets one or both of them. Better to keep it in. ]
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He didn't hate him.
When Molly closes his eyes, it suddenly hits him how utterly exhausted he is, and he tries to fall asleep now that he at least can hear Fjord's breathing in the same room. ]
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That's how he eventually falls asleep again, lying on his side and watching the half-orc breathe. For the first time in nearly a week, Molly gets a long rest. ]