lusi | ( fjord's perma-catchall )

[ Molly almost looks a little relieved when Fjord agrees, and the thoughts that follow makes him nods slightly. ]

I... I think so. I mean, I don't think I've heard anyone not getting their rewards, as of yet? They put these on me in seconds, they can take and give back your magic... I'm assuming repairing the island is also something it does as long as we keep giving it energy.

[ Hmm. Hmmm. With one arm around Molly he uses his others to rake through his own hair, the heel of a hand rubbing at his eyes as he thinks of how little he likes lying to him nowadays. Or more omitting the truth. It's not like it used to be when they would just snark and bitch at each other (well, it is), there's more to the concept of hurting Molly now than there used to be and Fjord senses that not being honest is going to bite him in the ass in the future.

After a long moment of silence, he sighs. ]

Okay, then because it's so easy, do you think ... [ He needs to phrase this right. ] Would you be open to adjusting your tattoos, maybe?

[ Molly's soft, content purr of closeness stops like he blew a fuse in it, and he pulls back a bit, red eyes a little wide as he looks at Fjord.

It had been too much, hadn't it? He fucked up, Fjord didn't like being the focus of his whole arm. He should have asked first. ]

I...

[ He pauses, and then rubs slightly over the lightning bolt cascading through the water. Schooling his face to be neutral and trying to make his tail not do the 'Molly's prickly' dance, he keeps his voice that loose, easy tone. ]

To what?

[ He clears his throat and gives a little tug on Molly's hair to try and calm him down, stroking the back of his neck. Twists around to face him a bit better on the couch. ]

I like them, I do, but I don't know if ... [ AHHHH. ] Maybe if I had been clearer about my — my feelings before I had come to this island, you wouldn't have ... put Jester's lollipop on your hand.

[ Feeling incredibly awkward, he squints at him as though expecting the worst and his voice softens. ]

I should have said something.

[ Molly gives Fjord a look, facial features both disbelieving and confused. His feelings, was it? Jester's tattoo...

Oh.

He wants to be angry, because that's the easiest reaction, just hiss and stomp off and deal with it later, preferably when drunk. Or never deal with it at all. Fjord's being honest, though, which is a few months too late to hear now, but still honest. ]

Congratulations. I don't know what the fuck to say to that.

Wh-What? What does 'congratulations' mean?

[ Now incredibly confused and a little panicked because Molly Isn't Reacting. ]

I don't... what am I supposed to say? 'Thanks for telling me, I'll use my next square to fix this art on my body because you didn't tell me you have a thing for Jester after months us fucking'?

[ Molly can't keep his tail from angry-swishing any more, which might just be a relief for everyone involved. ]

I —

[ Fuck, that kind of hits the nail on the head. ]

I just don't want to suddenly be thinking of someone else because there's a blatant reminder of them on you when we're being intimate. It's not like it's a picture of the ocean or lightning, those aren't immediately specific.

[ He reaches to take the newly tattooed hand in his. ]

I'm sorry.

Funny, how us having sex was totally the most pressing thought in my mind when I put my friend's reminder on my body, Fjord. What if I had put it on my shoulder? Could you never kiss me there?

[ He pulls away further, taking his hand back. ]

Us fucking is not going to change that she's dear to me. She's my friend! I'm not going to leave her off just because it might remind you of her. Hell, I have reminders of Beauregard on me now and I sure as fuck do not want to think of her when I sleep with anyone.

[ He frustrated gestures to the half-orc. ]

It sounds to me like you're feeling guilty about Jester.

You said it yourself, the Augur can change things with a thought! Why would it make a difference if it was placed somewhere else?

[ Starting to get defensive isn't the best option but it begins to feel like his only one as he sits back. ]

I'm not feeling guilty, I ... Molly, fuck's sake. You're not listening to me.

Because you're making it weird! Where am I supposed to put it so it doesn't offend your senses? No matter where I put it you're going to see it.

[ Molly grumbles, standing up from the couch. ]

I don't want to have to hide a part of myself just because your feelings about Jester are mixed up.

They're not mixed up! If Caleb walked in with a purple tail tattooed around his arm I'd feel weird about that too! [ He throws his hands up on his lap. ] You don't have to hide anything, I'm not asking you to.

... I knew I shouldn't have said anything.

[ Fuck it; he gets up and heads to find his coat. ]

You are asking me to!

[ Molly claps back, but then Fjord gets up and starts reaching for his stuff and the tiefling gets even more annoyed. ]

Oh no, if anyone is storming off here it's me! You sit down and we will talk.

[ He unscrupulously leans into his bloodline's magic to try to make Fjord stay, because this was absolute bullshit and if Fjord was going to be a dick about it, so would Molly. ]

Edited 2021-02-10 19:55 (UTC)

[ He really wants to leave, wants a drink at that bar on the beach, but for some reason his will weakens and he turns on the spot to sit back down with a shiver. Calmer, he reluctantly takes Molly's charming advice but still frowns up at him for a moment before the spell takes hold and his expression smooths out. ]

You're the only person I want to be thinking of when we're in bed, how is that a bad thing? It's a giant lollipop, Molly.

[ Molly moves so that Fjord has plenty of space on the couch and then takes a deep, deep breath. His head hurts and his heart aches and he feels so stupid. On top of that, he's insulted to all hell and back. ]

It's a swirl of colors that vaguely looks like her lollipop head, I wasn't going for too obvious. If that was what I was after I could have just made it a dick.

[ There's a sigh. ]

Okay, I get that it is weird for you. Great. Fantastic, that's an issue. But it's your damn issue, not mine. You're telling me to change something I used a square on - one of ours, by the way, I thought that was fitting - on my own damn body, the body that I need to be mine for as long as I can have it.

[ The tiefling sighs again, leaning his head against the problematic hand. ]

I can't just go fix this. I allowed myself one thing, the rest is going to fixing this place up so we can go home - or for you guys so you can have your spells and be safer. I also do not want to, because I made it for her. I could move it any place on my arm and you'd still see it, and I'm not leaving her off.

So it sounds like you'll have to get used to it.

[ It feels like an ocean is inside his chest, banking carefully on the surf without spilling too far or letting the waves ride too high. It's odd. ]

I knew I shouldn't ask you to change it and I'm sorry I did.

[ He can talk to Molly about this, they're friends. Best friends. Of course he can, there's no reason not to say what's really hurting him. ]

It's true that I have some softer feelings toward Jester now but I never acted on them. I came here and we happened. I just need some time to let those feelings fade a little ... the Nein has been together for a year, you and I have only had three months.

I know she's your friend, but I'm your boyfriend. Don't I get any say in you having a tattoo of one of my old crushes?

No, it's good that you told me what the issue was or I'd think you hated that I made your reminder the one connecting it all. That's fine.

[ Molly hates trying to be the reasonable one, here. ]

It's when you ask me to 'fix' it that makes it an issue. No, you have absolutely no fucking say in what I have on my body, no matter how much you mean to me. It's mine, I'm fucking fighting for it tooth and nail to be mine every day. If you could learn to accept the eyes on me even if they remind you of your enemy, then you can accept a reminder of a friend - no matter how you felt for her.

I always thought I'd break her heart somehow, I just don't want to be reminded of it with you.

[ And he continues to sit there, because he's a good friend. Subdued, he folds his arms. ]

If anything, I feel guilty when I think of her because I can't stop loving you.

I...

[ Molly's voice falls and he shakes his head again. ]

You know you can love several people at once, right?

I don't even love Aphrodite the way I love you.

...oh.

[ That was a lot, and Molly doesn't know what to say any more. ]

I'm sorry.

[ He drops the Charm Person spell on Fjord, sinking into the couch like he wants to hide in it. ]

[ There's a tingling at the back of his head that spreads like a shiver.

Fjord's eyes widen and his frown returns, along with alarm as he realises, ]

... You charmed me.

[ The amiable levelness is gone, swapped out for a raw flare of temper behind the words he tries to keep steady. ]

I don't have any spells to counter with and you fucking charmed me.

[ Backing up as he looks at Molly in disgust, he can't shake the memory of how Lucien would behave, doggedly and without care. Abruptly, Fjord doesn't want to be there with Molly, so he listens to his instincts and makes a sharp exit out of the living room and up the brownstone stairs. ]

[ He didn't think of the fact that Fjord had no spells, had no way to be on equal level with him. He didn't do anything mean or dangerous, though... just made sure they could talk longer - but that disgust in those lovely gold eyes hits Molly like being stabbed in the chest. He knows it was shitty, but it was also necessary... right?

Right?

But Fjord flounces off quickly, leaving the house in a storm and the tiefling curls up into an upset ball of anger, guilt and heartache, fingers scratching at his new sleeve and wishing he never got it at all. ]

[ Snatching up the Bag of Holding out of their room, he starts a routine of looking for an object and bagging it. Looking, bagging. Look, bag. It requires no thought beyond what he needs. A toothbrush makes it in there, a brush, some random clothes so that the wardrobe is emptier without a bulk of knitted tops, and he shoves in his mariner's armour with the rest of his Exandrian belongings too so there's a hollow space where he usually keeps them safely tucked under an ostentatious red coat. He would leave a note for the others but the remembers the devices have a texting feature, so he figures he will do that later ... breathing hurts, there's a pain in his chest he doesn't have the time to examine yet.

The stairs thump as he makes his way back down, dropping the bag at his feet just to pull on his coat and hat in the hallway. Being helplessly charmed to stay conversely makes him want to run a mile. ]

[ Hearing the half-orc rummaging around above and then heading down again makes Molly's heart hammer against his chest and when he hears the bag thump in the hallway he hurries out to see Fjord put his coat on.

With his things. In his bag. Leaving. ]

Fjord...?

(no subject)

halforc - 2021-02-10 22:31 (UTC) - Expand