What I mean is, [ why is it so hard to express himself, ] I would never want to endanger our friendship by messing up with ... this.

[ His hand slides down between Caleb's shoulders, finding a home in the small of his back. ]

But outside of all that, I'm surprised you're interested in me this way at all, and I suppose I can't begin to understand why. It always struck me that you would be more comfortable with someone like ... Essek.

[ Just saying, ignore his furtive glance. ]